Boredmp's Blog

This question should be so simple.  What do I want?  Ask someone, and they will tell you: I want a million dollars, a great job, a loving family…etc.  But realistically what about right now? This very moment? Well that may be a tougher question.  I find that much of the time I go back and forth between what I want, literally minute by minute can be different.  If I am so sure what I want in one moment how is it possible to be so unsure in the next moment?  What creates this uncertainty?  Influences which come in the form of conversation or environment can alter what we thought we were certain about.  A drug addict may be completely sure that they want to be off drugs forever, but as soon as they get into a fight or as soon as they get a craving it’s the end of that certainty.  Therapy seems to play a big role in helping people get better.  It may be because therapists have the ability to alter a person’s perception of things. Things that someone was certain about are now being questioned.  This can be a very positive thing especially if it is something that can save a person’s life.  When is it the right time to be certain and stick to what you’re sure of?  Is there a right time? 

This may all seem a bit confusing because I have been uncertain about something for a while.  Back and forth these thoughts went in my head.  So many people have insight, majority of them saying the same thing, yet I still am not convinced.  Maybe I should just listen to everyone and let majority rule but what if they are wrong?  Oh and there my thoughts go again….

When is enough enough?  When is it time to take the hard road and get out!? It seems that it is so much easier to stay in a bad relationship then it is to leave one.  There is always hope and optimism that it will get better.  Is that just silly or do we have a right to think that things can change.  I personally believe that people do not change, especially adults.  We are all set in our own ways and those ways have been working for us for our lives.  People feel they have no reason to change, what they do works for them and that’s that.  Not only do people fight change, change is hard.  We get stuck in habits and routines which are nearly impossible to break.  Change is a hard thing.  We can change for a couple hours, maybe a couple days, but eventually routine and habit creep up on us and without conscious awareness we are back to where we started.  Only when we do some deep soul searching or if something life altering happens do we actually change.  When we truly and 100 percent are committed to change then change has a fighting chance.  Will power does not bring upon lifelong change. Will power is no match to routine and habit…we all need to remember that.

Is it normal to fight a lot in a relationship?  Is there such thing as a perfect relationship where you truly meet your soul mate and quarrels are few and far between?  Our whole lives, especially for girls, we are programmed with this idea that we will find someone who will be our perfect match.  I am not sure if I believe this anymore.  I no longer believe there is a relationship that has no arguments and I no longer believe that we can find someone who can be our other half, a person who can fill and meet our needs.  That dream is gone.  It looks like I am on my own with filling my needs which sucks because I am not very good at it.  It is hard to determine whether what you have is right for your or if there is really something better out there.  Customs in India have husbands picked out for young girls.  I wonder what happens when they fight or if they fight?  Is America so unhappy because of the power struggle or is that just something we made up.  I wonder if we are so unhappy in relationships and if there are so many divorces because people genuinely think that there may be something better out there for them.  Maybe it is time that we stop putting so much pressure on our mate to fill us and start taking it upon ourselves to fill our own cup of tea so to speak….

Breakups are tough. The only time we remember how truly painful a break up can be is when we have to deal with one. The world crashes around us. It feels like we are now alone…completely alone. A break up brings on the feeling of feeling not whole and feeling terribly unhappy. It is the exact opposite of the feelings one would feel with the start of a new relationship. It is like we are being punished for the happiness that we once had. It is being taken back at the end of the relationship times 3.

All I want to do is lie in bed and just not think. I just want to be alone. I explained to my friends what happened, they want to help but I don’t want their help. What can they do for me? I just keep thinking about what would be happening or how I would be feeling if we were still together. AT moment I forget we are broken up and I feel normal again, but then reality dawns on me and I get a overflow of sadness. The relationship was bad and I needed to get out. I thought for a long time during the relationship I just need to end this I need to get out but I could never bring myself to ending it. I knew it would hurt to much.

Is staying in a bad relationship better then ending it? It may be easier. It is Long term pain instead of immediate, down to the core, unbearable crushing pain. Hopefully it doesn’t last long….hopefully it all works out. That statement even makes me angry. What if it doesn’t work out, then what? Then was this all a big mistake? Should I have been unhappy just to be in a relationship and keep that status? So many doubts..

We have to be heard, women are especially known for this.  If you want a woman to feel cared about and loved then listen to her.  The TV is not an excuse for her to stop talking so don’t think just because you turn up the volume or your favorite show it in she will suddenly become mute and leave you alone.

We have to be heard.  Why is it that if someone doesn’t listen to us, doesn’t show us sympathy or compassion for what we see, we get offended and hurt.   Woman aren’t the only one’s who are like this men are too, they just hide it.  We all think we are right and we want our opinions heard but I think we are doing a whole lot of pretend listening and too much talking.  Do we ever listen to someone.  When we say in a casual conversation, “hi, how are you?”, do we really care how they are.  No probably not. Most of the time it is just something to say.  We all need something to say.  When is it time to put your needs after someone else’s.  When is it time for you to shut up and listen. 

Let’s say you got really offended by someone and you decided you needed to tell them. You want them to listen.  When they argue with you and they tell you that your crazy for getting offended what happens, I bet you get even angrier.  Why not take a step back and determine if maybe you are over reacting.  What about what they did offended you so much?  Did they say something to you that was disrespectul?  Did they not include you when they should have?  Is it really the best thing to bring it up even though you probably may never see this person again?  of course  it is… to you….why should they care?  Think about if you were on the other end of that argument and you had no idea why this person was yelling at you..how would you feel then?

Mike and I have been fighting a lot.  Both of us think we are right.  Both of us are fighting till we are blue in the face to try to get the other person to see.  I have not done my share of listening, I don’t even give him the chance to explain…why should I?  Well I have thought of a few reasons..FINALLY. I guess it’s time for me to zip it, shut up and listen, resolve his issues so he can feel better then ultimatley get my needs met along the way. 

The best way to get people to do what you want is to lead by example.   The Golden rule that is so easily forgotten:  “do to others what you would like to be done to you” and negative form, “do not do to others what you would not like to be done to you.”

Why is that some little thing can bother us so much that it causes extreme reaction.  What is that little feeling inside that just urges us to say something or react?  There is a little feeling that builds inside your chest and it feels like if you don’t say anything then your just going to spontaneiously combust on the spot.  The urge to react pulses through your body until you just can’t take it anymore and you explode with fury at this person who caused this disturbance in you. 

These little things that cause no harm to any one would be better left ignored.  I found that if you change yourself, i.e let it go and realize that it really isn’t hurting any one, then you are better off.  If it takes a matter of minutes or even if it takes a day to get over the little issue well isn’t it best to just get over it instead of causing a fight that could lead to hurt feelings on both ends? 

We are told to be upfront say what’s wrong but the honest truth is no one really wants to hear what’s wrong, ESPECIALLY if that something that is wrong is a result of them. 

So why do we say something, we do we feel the need?  Is it because we feel if we don’t say something now then the action at fault will become a common occurence?  Or do we feel if we don’t say anything then that makes us weak and incapable of sticking up for ourselves?  Maybe there is a right way to tell somebody they are doing something you don’t like but I haven’t found it yet and I am not sure if it exists.

Keith Alexander is being promoted by Obama to assist with technological warfare as well strategic military affairs and cooperative aspects. The position Keith filled is not completely understood and many people have questions of exactly what Keith plans on doing to fulfill this position. The position is specifically designed to “protect Department of Defense networks and take charge of cyber warfare activities.”

There are concerns about this position because it is believed to already be covered by other departments. Many people have a misunderstanding because they do not recognize how military action can help in cyber warfare but Alexander defends his position and states he will not cross boundaries, and his “goal will be to significantly improve the way [the military] defend ourselves in this domain.” Working together with other security groups, Alexander hopes to share information and build a stronger security defense.

http://darkreading.com/security/government/showArticle.jhtml?articleID=224400518

          Clickjacking is the process of hiding a malicious link under a link that seems relatively ok. A user that clicks on the link or in some cases just hovers over the link could become infected. The link then can be spread to users contacts or friends list. Internet Explorer and other browsers took steps to protect users from this form of attack but Researcher at Black Hat Europe found a way around it. They are planning on exposing their findings on April 14th 2010.
         

          Some vendors took steps to protect users nearly 2 years ago when the attack was discovered but some have not done much to protect users. The reason, clickjacking is a limited attack unless, “it’s paired with cross-site scripting (XSS) and cross – site request forgery (CSRF) attacks.” But now with the new information black hat plans to release they are able to use clickjacking with the use of CSRF.
          He found four techniques, two techniques are forms of text field injection, content extraction, and an iFrame attack. These forms of attacks are not using vulnerabilities of programs they are actually, “using the way they work against [clickjacking].” He is broadcasting this to make everyone aware of the security measures that should be taken to protect users.

http://darkreading.com/vulnerability_management/security/app-security/showArticle.jhtml?articleID=224400129

It seems that our personal privacy may indeed be important after all. New Jersey court ruling concluded that employers do not have permission to read their employees email under a third party account. It is quite typical for employers to read incoming and outgoing mail within a users mailing account used for the company, but companies go as far as reading emails on a personal account. In the case discussed in the article Stengart, a nursing manager, was emailing a lawyer on her personal email and it was read by her employer. Not only did the court rule that reading personal emails was wrong they also, “suggest that employers cannot discipline employees for simply spending some time at work receiving personal, confidential legal advice from a private lawyer, although the Court noted that an employee who “spends long stretches of the workday” doing so can be disciplined. ”

When working for the company they tend to believe they should have full access to any information that is being displayed on the computers simply because it is their computer. It is reassuring to know that our privacy is important and it should be protected. If it’s a personal matter then Big brother should keep their nose out of the matter.

http://darkreading.com/insiderthreat/security/privacy/showArticle.jhtml?articleID=224201355

               Personal information needs to be protected.  If the private information gets out whose fault is it?  Well Countrywide Financial customers believe it is the company’s fault.  They are taking it upon themselves to sue Countrywide. Only 16 plaintiffs and they seek 20 million dollars in damages, “plus punitive damages”. The information was stolen by employees of the company and then sold. Thousands, maybe even millions of people were victims of this.  It is not yet determined if the employees sold the information intentionally for their own good or if they were acting as a part of a larger project. 

                Like most companies would do, Countrywide financial delayed the process of telling their customers that there private information was released.  This kind of publicity can damage even the largest company’s business.  The victims involved in this process, “say their identities have been stolen or compromised, their credit histories have been “shattered, and they’ve been unable to obtain loans, lines of credit, or real estate financing.”  In this economy it seems no one is safe. 

http://darkreading.com/database_security/security/privacy/showArticle.jhtml?articleID=224201969